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Looking back at some of my recent posts, I can see that I’ve documented a lot of things that I hate or things that stink. This is probably a reflection of where I am in my life right now. As my husband reminds me, this is the time in our lives that is the very hardest. We’re raising our child who is now going through her teenage years, we’re working our hardest at our jobs and have our largest earning potential right now, and we’re encountering more health scares both for us and our parents--we’ve nearly hit peak sandwich generation.
A lot has been written about the sandwich generation, folks who are taking care of their children and their parents, and how to deal with the stresses and strains of this middle part of our lives. Some studies have shown that we’re at our least happy between the ages of 40 and 50, and after that nadir, your happiness starts to increase as you get older. Looking at that chart I’ve linked, I guess I just have to grit my teeth and get through a few more years of this trough of happiness before I’m Sonny Sunshine again.
Of course, I can also spend some time thinking about what I am happy about right at this moment. What are those things that I love about this time of my life? What am I grateful for?
I love my strong relationship with my husband. I met my husband when I was in my mid 20s. We knew right away that we were meant to be together, despite living on opposite sides of the US. After a couple of years of a long-distance relationship, we moved in together and then got married. We’ve now been married for almost 20 years, and over that time, we have supported each other through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. My husband has always been there for me, and he is helping me to get through this rough period of my life because he’s experiencing the same thing.
I love learning about my daughter as she becomes a young adult. Looking back at when my daughter was first born, I remember a time when I was nearly overcome with exhaustion every single day. Generally, she was a pretty mild-mannered baby, but the whole not sleeping through the night, hourly feedings, and translating baby cries to baby needs was exhausting to me. As she moved through her toddler and then school age years, I embraced the challenges that presented themselves as she entered each new developmental stage. And now she is a teenager. She is feeling her way towards independence. And despite those very specific challenges, I love how she is becoming her own young woman. She brings amazing observations to the world around her that are unique and wonderful. And though she now brings a dose of snark to most things, she also still snuggles with me when she is feeling down or when she’s feeling happy, and those snuggles bring me life.
I love my freelancing life. I have always been one to stick with what I’m comfortable with. It’s why I had been with my previous job for 17 years. Even though copyediting technology research wasn’t the most glamorous or exciting job, I did the work at a very high level and went on with the day-to-day grind of a corporate existence. Now that I’m freelancing, I have rediscovered my absolute love of books. As I copyedit a wide variety of manuscripts, from fiction to nonfiction, from self-help to memoir, I’m exposed daily to amazing insights and gripping stories. I am thankful everyday that I get paid to read these works and help the authors make them better. It makes me wish I had started this path sooner, but I am so glad that I am here now.
Even just writing about these three things has helped me to feel calmer and, indeed, happier with my life. Living life in your late 40s is not easy, but with the wisdom that I’ve gained, the friends that I’ve made, and the family that I have gathered around me, it is certainly filled with love and joy.
What about you? What are the things that you love in your life right now? If you haven’t yet given it a moment’s thought, stop what you’re doing and take some time to document what you love about your life. Share your thoughts in the comments below -- I’d love to read them!
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