The Power of Saying Yes

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Tonight, I’ll be going out with some friends for dinner. I know that I’ll have a great time and have that much less time to spend holed up in my room doomscrolling. 

It’s taken me a while to get to this point. These friends are folks that I developed a relationship with by saying “Yes” more often. They are the parents of my daughter’s friends, and my husband, ever the gregarious introvert that leans extrovert, had been the one going to all of their outings and gatherings. Because I was more introvert, leans introvert, I stayed mostly to myself.

This habit of saying no and staying to myself stemmed from the time when I lost my sister to stomach cancer. It was such a tragic and deep cut to my psyche that I spent more than decade nursing it, attempting to heal it, and staying to myself. 

I said no to everything after that first terrible year. I said no to family gatherings. I said no to my daughter’s school activities (leaving everything to fall on my poor husband’s shoulders). I said no to the activities that used to bring me joy. 

Of course, I realized that I needed therapy to deal with the depression that I had fallen into, and I did get some amount of help in that area. It wasn’t the full help I needed, though, although that is a story for another blog post. But I did get enough to begin to start to say yes to things.

And then, of course, the pandemic hit. And saying “No” to things became everyone’s default. 

As we all weathered through that hunkering down, and as we started to finally come out of that time of the ultimate “No,” I hesitantly started to say “Yes” to things again. 

I said “Yes” to invites to gatherings.

I said “Yes” to dinner dates and school activities for my daughter.

I said “Yes” to whether I should write a book.

And learning how to say “Yes” to more things has broken my world wide open. I feel almost like I’m a new person living in a new world. One that isn’t so lonely and dark. One that is filled with friendships, experiences, and living. 

All thanks to the beautiful power of saying “Yes.”