Photo by Leah Newhouse on Pexels
Town lists might seem like a gaggle of gossips. There are whole meme accounts (my favorite is Best of Nextdoor) devoted to skewering the lack of self-awareness, the nosiness, the close-mindedness of people posting to these type of town social media lists.
But, as I’ve been working on my debut novel (yes, I wrote debut novel. It’s not published yet or even submitted to query, but I’m manifesting those just-published vibes, baby!), the small town that my main character lives in plays a huge part in her life and in her character journey. As I’ve fleshed out the people in the town, it’s made realize how lonely modern life has made us.
I have a small family unit, and I have moved around a lot in my life. These are two conditions that have shrunk my social network as I’ve gotten older. I’ve made a true effort as the years march on to enlarge that friendship network. I’ve reached out to friends to meet over Zoom or in person, and I’ve made a point of reaching out to friends across the country when I’m traveling to make sure we can catch up when I’m in town, despite the distance. For a while, I was also signing up for community education courses, partially to satisfy my desire for life-long learning, but also to make new community connections.
I have also made an effort to read our daily community newspaper. I’ve read stories about people genuinely trying to engage in discussions about what is happening in the Middle East and about how our town plans to use grants to improve access for the disabled to our main bike path.
All of these efforts have made me realize that most people are genuinely good people, also just trying to make connections. On my town’s Facebook list, people help each other find contractors, lost cats, lost keys, help for injured bunnies, identify mystery animal droppings, and share blurry photos of the Aurora Borealis. Yes, there are minidramas that flare up every now and then, like the annual complaints about rude bicyclists (or arrogant car drivers) and admonishments about depositing dog poop bags in garbage cans that are not your own. But mostly, the list is filled with people seeking help and trying to be helpful. There are also requests for companionship and clubs and meetings.
Community is actually good, despite the constant stream of outrage that social media keeps feeding us. There are different generations of people that we live next to. They bring joy to our lives by feeding us, healing us, nurturing us, singing with us, praying with us, making art with us, helping us. There is humor in this juxtaposition of so many people living closely together, but there is also friendship and community.
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