The Heartlessness of Social Media Platforms

I almost didn’t have the strength to write this post. But I had to write it. I feel so strongly about this topic, and I wish that someone with the ability to make the change I want reads this and changes this awful social media practice.

Social media. We all love these platforms, and we hate them. They bring us together across time and across distance. I would never have been able to keep tabs on my friends and family scattered across the world if it weren’t for Facebook. I have gained employment opportunities from networking and posting on LinkedIn. I am able to share my words and thoughts with the world on Medium.

But these platforms also amplify hate. People share hate and rage-filled posts much more so than they do posts filled with love and sunshine. This is a topic that has been often written about, but it is not what I’m writing about today.

Today, as I was scrolling through LinkedIn, I came across a post celebrating a seemingly significant milestone for my sister. The post boasted that she was celebrating 17 years as a student at university. The problem? My dearest sister passed away 12 years ago.

What made this even worse? Someone (I’ve blocked out their name for privacy) mindlessly sent a hearty congrats to her. So, let’s get this piece of social media etiquette out of the way first: Do not ever mindlessly type congrats on a LinkedIn post anniversary. I don’t know if there are settings to not have these auto notifications about anniversaries go out, but the default should be that these are turned off. Sometimes people will have anniversary posts go off after they have been laid off. Sometimes, as was the case with my sister, they are no longer with us. If you post on professional platforms for authentic engagement, for heaven’s sake, know about what you are posting before you click “post.”

After crying for a little bit, I did some searching and came across this very helpful Red Cross infographic that walks you through the process of deleting a loved-one’s profile from their social media accounts. But then, I was stopped again in my tracks. Some of those steps are onerous, like having to show at least a power of attorney, a last will and testament, a birth certificate, or an estate letter and an obituary or memorial card, as Facebook requires. And then I thought about having to coordinate with my sister’s loved ones to begin this process. And each of the 10 social media platforms listed on that PDF has different requirements.

But even before we jump through all of these awful hoops, why on earth aren’t these social media companies locking these types of anniversary automations after an account has been inactive for so many years? An automated anniversary celebrating my sister being a student for 17 years? These platforms promise that they are going to save the world with their technology, but they can’t even handle that completely nonsensical anniversary? Could they not, at the very least, turn off those automatic posts and reminders if an account hasn’t been active for five years? With all of this hoopla and hype around AI, can’t these companies get their acts together and not rub our noses in our grief?

I already know the answer to this. No. These reminders and anniversaries push engagement for their platforms. Precious engagement they can sell to advertisers to make them tons of money. But, God, at what cost is that engagement?