It’s been a little more than a week since I was laid off. I had been with my company for 17 years. Time during which I got married, had my beautiful daughter, watched my sister pass away from cancer, traveled the world, made amazing friends at work, and watched my parents grow older. At work, I edited technology text, fought battles over whether or not to close up silly words, learned graphic design, learned how to manage people, and figured out which lunches wouldn’t stink up the communal kitchen too much when I warmed them up in the microwave (popcorn was the absolute killer -- I loved it so much, but would often overhear people mumbling and grumbling about it the whole time).
My little editing team, which later became a graphics team, moved like nomads from group to group at the company. Every new leader thought they knew how to manage this cost-center, but no one wanted to keep this simple, unsexy thing.
I know people will tell you that you don’t owe your company anything because your company will shrug you off like old insect skin without a moment’s thought. Still, it stings.
And now, because I got a fairly good severance package, I have some time to think. But all that time is leading to thoughts about how I’m not really good for anything.
Shake it off.
Here are just a few more thoughts about this terrible event. I posted about it on both Facebook and LinkedIn. I’m not like my husband -- I overshare. I wanted to get kind thoughts from friends. I was seeking those likes and virtual hugs. I wasn’t really prepared, though, for the absolute outpouring of lovely notes. It was wonderful, but also overwhelming. It also made me feel like there had been a death in the family. So many condolences. I felt sad even when I was smiling at the nice thoughts.
This week will be the third week after the layoff. I’ve applied to about 10 jobs, and haven’t heard anything. I still feel like I’m not exactly sure what I’d like to do. For now, I’m going to try my hand at daily blogging and keep up with my painting practice. If I try to write and paint everyday, I want to see what kind of improvement I can achieve.
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